Go There but Don’t Stay

Transitions can be difficult and they seem to often sneak up on you. I have a theory that they actually don’t sneak up on you and I’ll explain in a second about said theory. We are always evolving so transitions are either behind us, with us or in front of us. They can come suddenly, showing up as divorce, marriage, job loss, empty nest, sickness, death of a loved one, death of a family member you didn’t love, a new home, a new love. The list goes on.

We go through it in many forms and in many ways, but we seem to embark on it with clinched fist, closed heart and debilitating fear except we don’t always realize we are doing these things.

We stay up late even though we should probably sleep more. We overeat when we should be working out a bit more. We create more drama to offset the transition in an effort to try and control something…anything!

It is human. Welcome to the club. I would not suggest not doing these things. In fact, if we didn’t participate in some sort of over indulgence during periods of change, I’d be checking your pulse! 😉

I do wonder if it is best to be mindful of it. If you can sense change is afoot, discipline yourself to take an extra walk every week. Perhaps add a few more meditations to your practice. Go to a play or art fair you wouldn’t normally attend or have dinner with a good (positive/great energy) friend.

Be intentional about the transition and while all of this is happening, mourn the loss of what was. Do it. Do it full on, no holds barred. Dive right into the discomfort, sadness, anger, excitement, confusion. Do it by journaling or asking yourself what you’re really feeling now. Do it by sleeping that extra hour.

Don’t come up with reasons you should be ok or be happy when you’re not. Be sad, angry, in pain and clueless. Dive into it full stop.

Give yourself room to grieve (or feel whatever it is you feel) what was and be open to the knowing that this won’t last always.

Sometimes transitions don’t sneak up on you. They may have been a prayer you don’t remember stating or a change you wanted in your life that you did not say aloud, but really wanted to see happen. It may not have come how you wanted it, but the transition might have been exactly what you needed now. Either way, Life moves without our permission and you have tools within you to flow through those times when life sucks. In fact, you are the tool and you are capable of being sad, being angry and then being through it and on the other side.

All my love,

Ebezzy (I’m kidding. It’s Ebonni.)

By Ebonni Bryant


ebonni@theideainc.com